


Those Lovely Links to Humanity

by BeauBrummellBaby



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Gen, L being a gay emo bastard, M/M, References to Oscar Wilde, Sayu being cute, you know just canon stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-08 03:02:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21228716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeauBrummellBaby/pseuds/BeauBrummellBaby
Summary: L meets Sayu, and she makes him consider his feelings for Light. One-sided/implied Lawlight.





	Those Lovely Links to Humanity

**Author's Note:**

> Hello weebs, I am now Your Problem
> 
> You can kinda read this as any au you want? Like, canon? Regular college au? Slight canon divergence? Is Light Kira? Is someone else Kira? Is SAYU Kira (that's my favorite au don't @ me)? Does Kira exist? Are they vampires? Up to you. Just have fun reading it *peace sign*
> 
> The letter L and Sayu are reading is "De Profundis" by Oscar Wilde, which can be found here: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/921/921-h/921-h.htm

"Light, can you come help me with- oh."

L stood up abruptly, nearly falling off the couch as he tried to get his feet back under himself. The girl in the hallway stared at him awkwardly.  _ On first-name basis with Light, looks a passable amount like him and Soichiro, a sibling? Younger, definitely, the girl couldn't have been older than 15, _

"Hello?"

_ Shit. _

"Ryuzaki," L blurted out, offering a handshake as a force of habit. When it wasn't accepted, he bowed slightly. "My name. Is Ryuzaki, I mean. I go to school with Light."

After a second's hesitation, the girl smiled. "I'm Sayu! Light's my big brother. He didn't tell me he'd made friends at school already!"

_ Friends _ , L thought to himself. Was that really what he and Light were already, or was Sayu just being nice? She seemed the type, excitable yet genuine.

"So, do you know where Light is? I was hoping he was home so he could help me with my homework."

"No."  _ Wait, genius, backtrack. Why are you in her house if you don't know where her family is? Quick, say something before she gets suspicious. _ "Do you want kit kats?"  _ Nice save _ . He held the bag out toward her.

"Green tea, huh? Light's favorite." Sayu unwrapped a package, breaking the pair apart and sliding one into her mouth. It was oddly endearing, like watching a baby bird. "Not my favorite, but they're pretty at least. And they're supposed to be healthy."

"I've got too much on my mind at any given time to worry about what's healthy," L smirked. "They're sweet, that's enough."

"Tell me about it," groaned Sayu through a mouthful of kit kat, flopping down on the couch next to where L had been sitting. "I'm so ready to be done with high school, and I've barely even started! I don't know how I'll do this without Light."

L stepped back up onto the couch, plunking his head down and hugging his knees. "Your brother hasn't abandoned you. He's just… busy right now. Um. Do you mind if I wait for him with you? I'm sure he'll be home soon."  _ Don't say no. I don't know where I'd go. _

"You really don't know when he'll be back?"

"No, sorry." He placed the bag of kit kats between them as a peace offering.

"Damn," Sayu said quietly, like she wasn't used to using the word just yet. When L turned his head, she sputtered. "I'm sorry, I mean, I just, I have homework that really has to be done tonight but I need Light's help, and I don't know how long I can wait for him." She pulled a book from her backpack. "Worst of all, it's English. The only subject worse than math."

"You know, I'm fluent in English. A long time ago, I even used to live in Britain. Perhaps I could help?"

"Oh my gosh, really? You'd do that for me?" Sayu sat up on her knees, facing L now and cradling the book to her chest. "Here, I've just gotta work on this letter, let me find the page…"

L placed the now-open offered book on his feet, gently stroking the page as he read.

" _ Suffering is one very long moment. We cannot divide it by seasons. We can only record its moods, and chronicle their return… _ "

"I know this work," L broke from his musing. "I read it many times when I was your age, God, I fell in love with this thing."

"You're joking!"

"No, believe me." L allowed himself to smirk as he caressed the fading ink. "I'm quite familiar with Oscar Wilde."

"That's so funny, I've heard people say the same thing about Light! He's never mentioned it though."

L choked.  _ Now THAT'S a revelation. _ He turned his attention back to the book, hoping Sayu wouldn't notice his blush.

" _ Prosperity, pleasure and success, may be rough of grain and common in fibre, but sorrow is the most sensitive of all created things. There is nothing that stirs in the whole world of thought to which sorrow does not vibrate in terrible and exquisite pulsation. The thin beaten-out leaf of tremulous gold that chronicles the direction of forces the eye cannot see is in comparison coarse. It is a wound that bleeds when any hand but that of love touches it, and even then must bleed again, though not in pain. _ "

"That's so sad," Sayu murmured, "why do you love it so much?"

L blushed further. _Because I lived it._ _Because it told me I wasn't alone. Because it let me know there was reason, beauty even, in my pain. Because it made me hope. _"I don't know, why do teenagers love anything? No offense, of course." He took another kit kat, nudging the bag Sayu's way once more. He relaxed when, after a pause, she took one.

_ I, and such as I am, have hardly any right to air and sun. Our presence taints the pleasures of others. We are unwelcome when we reappear. To revisit the glimpses of the moon is not for us. Our very children are taken away. Those lovely links with humanity are broken. We are doomed to be solitary, while our sons still live. We are denied the one thing that might heal us and keep us, that might bring balm to the bruised heart, and peace to the soul in pain. . . . _

"Ryuzaki?"

"Huh?"

"I'm glad you're friends with Light."

_ Oh.  _ L fidgeted, wanting to face her but somehow feeling trapped. "As am I," he murmured.

Sayu took the book from him, shutting it softly. "I was worried he'd be lonely, starting college. He's such a social butterfly. But I'm glad he's got you around."

"I like having him around as well," L admitted, hugging his shins tightly and dropping his forehead onto a knee.  _ I never thought I'd admit that, much less to someone in his family. _ "Um, your homework. Don't we need to finish that?"

"Nah," she brushed him off, "I've got what I need."

At that moment, the door swung open and Light entered, tired and haggard.

"Hi Light!" Sayu shouted, running to the hallway to meet him.

"Hey, kiddo, sorry I'm late." L watched as Light's demeanor changed. He was still obviously tired, but now there was almost something content about him that made him look less rough. L had never seen him so relaxed and vulnerable like this. He wanted to look away, but couldn't.

"It's okay!" Sayu beamed. "Your friend Ryuzaki helped me with my homework."

Light shifted again, now obviously in defense mode. "Ryuzaki?"

"Hello," L muttered, standing up and holding the near-empty bag of kit kats toward him.

"I really couldn't have done it without him. Your friend is so nice!"

Light approached L, taking a kit kat and putting it in his pocket. "You really helped her?"

L deflected. "It was just English. Oscar Wilde, you know, I've always been fond of Oscar Wilde."  _ Shit. That was more information than I wanted to give. _

"Really," Light murmured, giving L a subtle once-over. "I wouldn't have expected that."

_ Oh shit oh fuck he understood me. _

"Listen, thanks for being here when I couldn't. You're a good man, L."

_ Am I? _

"It's late, though," said Light. "Spend the night here?"

"Well-"

"I'm not asking." Light reached out, clapping L's shoulder. "Tell Watari where you are. It's fine. You should stay."

L spared a glance at the hand on his shoulder before meeting Light's eyes. "Okay."

_ Most people live for love and admiration. But it is by love and admiration that we should live. If any love is shown us we should recognise that we are quite unworthy of it. Nobody is worthy to be loved. The fact that God loves man shows us that in the divine order of ideal things it is written that eternal love is to be given to what is eternally unworthy. Or if that phrase seems to be a bitter one to bear, let us say that every one is worthy of love, except him who thinks that he is. Love is a sacrament that should be taken kneeling, and 'Domine, non sum dignus' should be on the lips and in the hearts of those who receive it. _

"Yeah, okay, I'll stay."

**Author's Note:**

> "Domine, non sum dignus" = "Lord, I am not worthy"


End file.
